It's amazing how different the Camino is for everyone, even for yourself if you've walked it before. Even though it's always the same Way, it is always special and new. It's amazing to see how the Camino creates different scenarios for each person, deppending on what he or she needs.
I started my Camino on the 22nd of August. I gave up all my plans only for one reason: to walk. I had a really good opportunity to go to Germany and start a new life there but I said no to that and said yes to my intuition. I didn't really know why I NEEDED to walk from France to the End of the World, but I knew that if I didn't I would regret it my whole life.
I had something clear in my mind: have no expectations, be open-minded and be open-hearted. Accept whatever comes. Be true to yourself. Break your shield and let the others get to know you. And so I did (or I tried to). I've always thought "I'm enough, I need no one to be happy, I am my own sun and moon, and I'm better when I'm alone". And in some way is true, I'm enough and I just need myself to be happy but the Camino kicked my ass really hard and showed me that HAPPINESS IS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED. And I loved it. From the first day to the last one I was sorrounded by beautiful, caring and amazing souls who wanted to share their light and love with me, while asking nothing in return.
One of the funny things about the Camino is the Time. You meet someone for a week or even less and it seems a lifetime. In Muxía, an hospitalero told me something I'll always remember: "The people you get to know in the Camino are really special, and the bond you create with them is unbreakable. They will always have a place in your heart and you'll always have a place in theirs." And it's totally true. It doesn't matter how long it takes for us to meet again, not even the distance that separates us, because all the funny moments, all the madness, the laughs, the tears, the love... all the experiences we've shared are undying.
The memories you create there are magical. Even the "bad" moments are. The Camino shows you that: Magic exists in the little things. Life is made of that, little magic things that happen to you. You just need to observe and be open to recieve: a new landscape, a warm dinner, a new blister, someone helping you, pain in your body, a comforting hug, an interesting conversation, an intense look, an unexpected caress, a beer with your friends, the moonlight, the sunrise and sunset, a bed (even if it's not comfortable), a smile... Magic is there, you just have to open your eyes and see.
The Camino changes you. You're the same, same name, same body, same clothes, same hair... but the way you look at things, the way you think and the way you feel is completely different. You realize that you're able to do anything yo want, you're the Creator of your Life, you're not a Tree, you can move and you can achieve your goals. Life is not how they tell you it is. Life is how you want it to be. Your Life, your Path. Nothing is impossible, it's just difficult. But there, in trouble, is when Magic happens. When things get tough you realize if that is what you really want and if that is worth fighting for.
The same hospitalero, that one in Muxía, told me another thing I wasn't ready to hear at that moment. He said: "Your soul will cry, your soul will cry a lot... you're gonna miss so much the Camino and the friends you made here... and you're gonna think about it every day. I can see in your eyes you don't want it to finish, but this is ending. And you have to accept it" Those were the hardest words I had to hear, because I knew it was the truth. I knew it was the Universe talking to me through that man. The Universe was asking me to accept the End and be happy for all what I experienced. I knew it was the Universe saying "don't hold", "don't hold onto anything and you'll have everything".
For a long time I've been repeating that to myself as a mantra, don't hold onto anything, let everything go. If you love something, set it free. I swear I thought I knew how to do it. I thought I learnt it when my father left and I had to accept that and let him go, set him free... but the Camino showed me I still have to learn how to do it, because is really different to let go from the Love and Respect than from the Resentment and Melancholy.
I've understood it's a scary thing to let go what you love but all what you hold becomes a chain. Love must be wild and free. Love cannot be hold because Love is everything. You just have flow into it and embrace that energy.
Trust your way. The Camino provides. Life provides.
P.S Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it.
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario